Er, you come up with something witty about this!
Lets get this straight now, the Mega Drive version is awful, but this is pure utter drivel that leaves you wondering what on earth Sega were thinking when this was commissioned. There were some redeeming features in the 16-bit version, none of which have made it here. The first thing you notice is the god awful music.
Smashing my forehead into my Yamaha would’ve produced better noise than this.
The presentation is awful and the complete lack of a 2-player mode lets you know things aren’t going to get any better. Even bloody World Soccer has a 2-player mode! The game kicks off and things get a whole lot worse, the players haven’t even started to move and they’re blurring already! The action’s underway and you can barely see anything, player sprites flicker like Christmas tree lights.
Well if he’s gonna take a nap…
As with the 16-bit the action is viewed from a top-down perspective and again as with the MD version, it doesn’t work. Kicking the ball feels completely random, passing is extremely difficult due to the poor collision detection and lack of response from pressing either button. The kamikaze tackling and lack of free kicks remains from the 16-bit. Goalies can’t kick the ball (?), meaning you have to throw it out every time – this coupled with the kamikaze tackling means you can spend what feels like hours in your own half!
I had to score an own goal just to get this shot!
I played this game for ages and didn’t score a single goal, I tell a lie, I did manage to score an own goal. The funny thing – the computer couldn’t score either, shots tend to always go straight to the goalie. Whereas it was too easy to score on the 16-bit, it’s ruddy impossible to score here at all! This means that every knockout game goes to penalties, that are impossible to save! Even when you choose the right direction, if you’ve gone a split second later, that penalty’s going in.
Awful looks, awful gameplay and truly awful sound FX = avoid avoid avoid!