Wolfenstein 3D (SNES Review)

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Okay, who told me he had a moustache!

Okay, who told me he had a moustache!

It would be unfair to compare this to the PC version (a groundbreaking title) so we’ll just enjoy the fact it’s even on 16-bit and take it from there…  If you haven’t heard about Wolfenstein 3D then you’ve probably been living down a hole somewhere, without a computer or any games consoles.  You are supersoldier nondescript, sent to take down the Nazis, although “unsurprisingly” for a Nintendo title, all swastikas, likenesses to AH, have been removed.  Or blurred, a lot.

 

Whilst first person shooters are thought to be solely for the PC (and suped-up Amigas), Wolfenstein makes a good fist of it.  But it is blurry, very blurry.  The levels are understandably bland, given the lack of available colours and processing speed.  The SNES’s more powerful processor makes this basic design possible.  I confused plants for soldiers umpteen times.  It’s only when you get close up to the (ahem) “enemy soldiers” that you can see any detail, and it’s basic.

 

This year’s Crufts was a little different

This year’s Crufts was a little different

So how does it play?  This is one of the most fun titles I’ve played on the SNES.  The L and R buttons work pretty well as strafe buttons and the way you can cut swathes through your enemies is impressive.  The sound effects are amazing, gunshots spot on and “Stop!” can be heard round every corner.  Beware, the lower the tone, the tougher the soldier coming to get you.  The levels are huge and carry a lot of enemies (our favourite zombie soldiers are all intact, sort of).

 

Ohhhhh crap

Ohhhhh crap

There are a few problems, the music per stage is short and will drive you mad as the levels are so big.  Everything looks the same which can be very confusing, causing you to look at the (albeit impressive) map, a lot.  Bosses are huge and remorseless, shots from anyone take huge chunks off your life gauge.  Your eyes will start to hurt as there’s nothing for them to focus on.  You can’t cycle through weapons (or it wasn’t obvious how), so you had to persist with the strongest one (love mini gun, hate rocket launcher) until ammo runs out.

 

Certainly flawed but it’s a big blurry mess that’s hella fun.

 

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